The Polar Express and I Turned 34

While we were waiting for Lenore's arrival, my parents came down to stay for if/when I went into labor. My mom mentioned taking Lewis to The Polar Express ride in French Lick around Christmastime, so we decided to go for it. I bought him the book (which came with an audiobook) and the movie, and he and Kevin went to the Science Center to see it on the big screen sometime either before or after Lenore was born. (It's all a blur!) :) We listened to it in the car just about every time we drove anywhere, so that we were up on the story, and Kevin read him the book most nights at bedtime. Lewis could recite the book to you if needed.

We drove up to French Lick on a Friday afternoon and met my parents at our hotel for the night. They were sold out of the train tickets, so the only way we could get tickets was to book a package at this hotel with an indoor water park, so it became a whole getaway thing, which was great. We unpacked and got ready to go for our 5:30pm departure:

 They encourage kiddos (and adults) to wear pajamas, like the kids in the book. :)

 Waiting at the train station

 Lenore was there, too! 

She slept the whole time, of course. Maybe next year she'll be awake for it. :)

The conductor came through and punched our tickets like they do in the movie. 

I think Lew thought that was pretty cool, seeing punches/confetti flying everywhere. :)

They did a really great job of reenacting the book and movie details. Lewis thought it was pretty great--it stops at the North Pole and heads back to the station, at which time Santa comes aboard the train and talks to each child. Lewis' face, seeing Santa walking down the aisle, was priceless. He wasn't much into talking to ol' Mr. C, but he happily took a bell from Santa's sleigh (which is from the story) as a souvenir, which was pretty cool.

The next day, we headed to the water park at the hotel where we were staying. Lewis was tall enough to ride the big water slides with an adult, so we took turns taking him down and going down ourselves. Despite feeling like I might crash and seriously injure myself (they were FAST), we had a blast. We all switched off holding Lenore and riding the slides and/or lazy river. It was a really great set-up, and we'd like to go back sometime. After lunch, we headed over to the French Lick Resort to see their Christmas decorations, which were beautiful.

The next day was my birthday--the big 3-4! It's kind of a blur--I know there was cake and ice cream. I might have gone for a pedicure, I honestly can't recall! [Update: Kevin reminded me that we went out to dinner and to see Wild.]

 Getting some help from Big Lew

There are a ton of pictures that I haven't posted--of Lewis and Kevin raking leaves, visits with family at Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc. I could do a whole posting of pictures of Lewis and Lenore snuggling--Kevin has so many on his phone! I'm working on getting the pictures off of my phone so that I can post about our trip to Boise--it's just taking a while.

Lenore at 2 Months

Two Months Old

Her stats (from the doctor's office):

Weight: 14 pounds 4 ounces [96th percentile]

Length: 23.5 inches [89th percentile]

Head Size: 40.6 cm [97th percentile]

Everything looks pretty good this month. I did ask about her head shape because I thought she was favoring turning her head to one side. Sure enough, she's starting to get a flat spot, so we're going to try to encourage her to look the other way more often. The pediatrician said that her range of motion seems fine--she just seems to prefer turning her head the same direction most of the time (when laying, sleeping, etc.). She got one oral and two inject-able vaccines this time, and she's pretty fussy now that we're home (after an almost 4 hour nap). Hopefully this evening/overnight isn't too bad--tomorrow, we're off to Boise!

At our 1 month check-up, they found a heart murmur that had previously been undetected. Our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric cardiologist the next week. They ran a few tests and found that she has a 'very mild pulmonary stenosis' which is a thickening of the valve that regulates the blood flow from the heart to the lungs. She also has an ASD (Atrial Septal Defect), which are some extra holes in between the two atriums of her heart. The cardiologist said that both issues will go away on their own and that we don't need to worry about limiting her activities (e.g. crying) at this point. We'll go back for another check in six months. That week of waiting for the appointment was pretty worrisome, so we were very relieved to get good news.

What she's doing this month:

• She is back to swaddling! Sometime just after turning a month old, she started waking up shortly after we put her down (after 10-15 minutes). Kevin mentioned that maybe she was startling herself awake, to which I thought, 'Well, duh.' That's what the sleep book said when I read it with Lewis, but I'd forgotten. So now she's happily swaddled at night and sleeps pretty well. 
• She typically goes down between 9:30 and 10pm and wakes up once, around 3:30 or 4am. There was a week where she slept until 6am, but then that turned to 5:45, 5:15, 5, etc. and now it's 3:30 or 4am. I was having to get up with her for the day when it was in the 5:45-6am range (because she wasn't going back to sleep), but now (thankfully) she is going back down after the 3:30 or 4am wake-up and sleeping until a more reasonable 7 or 8am.
• She did just sleep until 6:15am this morning. We are going to Boise on Wednesday for a week (2 hours time difference), so I'm sure everything will be up in the air during and after that trip. So it goes.
• Our daily routine cycles are usually to eat, play, sleep, but we don't always follow that. I'm following her lead a lot more than I did with Lewis, watching for her cues more than watching the clock. I told my lactation consultant that I was trying to not let her go past three hours without eating during the day, and she told me I didn't need to do that (unless she gets past 4 hours). She said that 2-4 hour stretches between feedings could be 'normal' for her at this point, and that she's clearly getting enough to eat. It seemed like once I stopped waking her up from daytime naps to make sure she was eating, she started sleeping better overall. That could have just been a coincidence, but still. On her own, she's falling into a fairly predictable routine, so I'm not messing with it. She usually has one 4 hour stretch during the day, and then feeds closer to every 2 hours in the evenings.
• She is smiling and laughing and cooing sometimes when we talk to her, which is just the sweetest sound. I don't really remember Lewis being quite as ooshy gooshy as she is (that's a technical term). :) She's just really sweet.
• She LOVES Kevin. She usually lights up when she's with him (which is quite a contrast from the first month, when their time together [evenings] was full of fussiness).
• I'm still sucking at doing tummy time, but her head control is pretty good, I think. I will do better this month.
• She loves to try to stand and bounce on our laps, and we'll probably bring up the jumperoo sometime soon.
• She is pretty close to outgrowing her 3 month clothes, though she is swimming in some of her 3-6 month ones. Separates seem to fit her better than one-pieces right now, I guess.

Now onto breastfeeding...

• Breastfeeding is still not going well. It's going, just not well. She is obviously fine and gaining weight, but she is hurting me in the process. I usually have pain at latch-on, sometimes pain during a feed, and always pain after a feed.
• Going way back to week 2, we thought it was thrush, but it's not thrush.
• A few weeks after that, they diagnosed me with Raynaud's (lack of blood flow to extremities due to cold or stress). At first they told me to just try to keep warm (during a record low cold snap). My LC was able to help me get a medication prescribed (nifedipine) by my OB's office, but unfortunately that didn't help, either.
• I was finally able to separate the pain and distinguish that the worst/lingering pain was due to a shallow latch rather than Raynaud's (they're two different pains, occurring at two different times). The Raynaud's happens when I'm cold (which is great timing, since winter has just begun). Once I was able to separate the two, I went back to my LC to try to work on latch again, sometime after Thanksgiving.
• Fast forward a few weeks, and we're still having issues. We went back last week, and my LC checked Lenore's mouth to make sure that there wasn't any tongue tie (and there isn't). She did notice that she has a very sensitive gag reflex. My LC thinks that she is pushing my nipple out of her mouth as I attempt to get it further back in there for a proper latch. That results in her nursing off the end of my breast rather than where she's *supposed* to, which causes the continual damage to my nipples (because they are hitting the hard palate instead of the soft palate). Because of that rubbing on the hard palate, my nipples keep getting damaged and have vasospasms (a constriction of blood flow) after feedings (throbbing, burning, stinging, etc.). It is the most horrible pain--it usually happens 5-15 minutes after a feeding and lasts 5 minutes or so. Sometimes it crosses my whole chest, deep in the tissue.
• My LC also mentioned that I just have large, full breasts (duh and duh), and that it will make it harder for her to get a good latch. What I'm supposed to do about that, I don't know.
• I have googled my eyes out and watched 'how to' videos and consulted my books, and it seems I'm doing everything to the best of my ability. We are just not grooving (yet).
• SO, having said all of that, I'm going to ask the pediatrician about the gag reflex tomorrow at our 2 month check-up. The LC said that it could possibly lead to issues when it comes to starting solids, but she isn't sure if that's what's causing the issues with feeding now. I don't know if the pediatrician would recommend doing any sort of therapy now to see if that would improve breastfeeding, but I am willing to try anything at this point.
• In other words, breastfeeding sucks. Ba-dum-ching! :) [Slightly jealous kudos to all of those mamas who have a natural and blissful relationship with it.] Talking to my friends, now, I'm learning that a lot of them have had a difficult go at it, and it's good to know I'm not alone. I remember having a few issues with Lewis early on, but they were resolved in one session with a LC. I would say I had a very easy time after that, but there's been nothing easy about it this time. I keep reading that maybe she'll outgrow it around 2 months (which would be any day now!), and I'm hoping that's the case. Otherwise, we'll see how long I can put up with the pain. I can't just quit, either, because that would be a hell unto itself with engorgement pain. I'd need to taper off over a few weeks and either pump or formula-feed, and it is 'easier' to just breastfeed. I have tried taking breaks for entire days by just pumping, but the time it takes to pump, plus feed, plus wash bottles and pump parts, is a lot, especially when I'm by myself and also taking care of Lewis. So I don't know what the right answer is for us right now. Certainly, to be continued.

And now some more pictures, to end on a happy note:

 She's got cheeks for days. :)

 Yea, my brother loves me.

 I think she's got the look-of-love for her brother, too.

My babies. :)

Books, Books, Books

I got three new books for my birthday from my extremely well-read, older, and wiser sister, with a note. Something to the effect of, "Thought you might like to read something other than baby books.' I didn't realize how much I appreciated getting my mind taken away from what can be the doldrums of breastfeeding every couple of hours all day long. Or something to do while snuggling a sleeping baby, too. Rather than check my phone again to see that (still) nothing is happening in the outside world. 

I took those books down to my bookcase after they arrived for my birthday last week, which is *all* the way downstairs, where I don't always venture. On Christmas, Kevin got me four more books, so I started reading them right away, since they were right in front of me. I will move on to Emily's selections next.

I read Amy Poehler's book (Yes Please) in less than 24 hours which is highly unlike me. I usually get gung-ho for like a chapter or maybe 30 pages. But 375 pages? In a day? [Too bad I couldn't be as interested in my English lit assignments in college.] I love Amy. And I love Tina Fey. I'm now halfway through her book (Bossypants) at about the 12 hour mark so maybe I'll wrap it up by tomorrow. 

UPDATE: I did finish Tina's book within 24 hours and moved along to Lena Dunham's, which I also finished under a day. 3 books, 3 days. If I achieve nothing else these next few days while Kevin is off, I will have read more books than the entire past year! That's both encouraging and pathetic. I have read my fair share of news articles and People magazine (and Parents and Martha Stewart Living and This Old House) over the year, of course.

I really liked Amy and Tina's books because they not only tell about their upbringing and how they've come to be, but they touch on relevant-to-me topics such as babies and breastfeeding, and I appreciate their lightness and wisdom at this particular time (minute, hour, day) in my life.

Lena's book was about how I expected it to be, just as she is. I don't love her, but I do find her interesting.

And I've finally taken the plunge into the smartphone world, as of a few weeks ago. My old phone had been superglued together twice and has had unbelievably crappy reception from day one, so it was time. I am slowly figuring out how to use Blogger on there (thanks for the inspiration, Keith), but I'm not quite there yet. I started this post on my phone but had to finish on the laptop. Maybe one of these days I'll figure out how to add pictures (wow!) and be more succinct (yea right!) for maximum phone blogging success. We shall see. I make no promises. :)

Oh, and the 4th book from Kevin is Wild.

Lenore at 1 Month

Lenore is a month old! She and I celebrated with a wide-eyed party in her room from 1:30-3am this morning...I had to wake up Kevin to take over at 3, and she went right to sleep for him (of course!).

One Month Old

Her stats (from the doctor's office):
Weight: 12 pounds 8.5 ounces (98th percentile)
Length: 22 inches (81st percentile)
Head Size: 15 inches (99th percentile)

What she is doing this month:

• She does NOT like to be swaddled. From the start, I could tell that she didn't like having her feet confined (she would kick and kick until they were free), so we would leave her feet out and just wrap her arms. About a week ago, she started getting angry when we'd even do that, so I tried to just put her down in her pajamas one night, and voila. She slept just as well (or maybe better), so no swaddling for her. [Lewis was the opposite and loved it and stayed swaddled until he started rolling over.]
• She and I have had a rough go at nursing so far. We've been to the lactation consultant at our hospital for an appointment and have talked to her on the phone numerous times (she is wonderful), and we are still working on a few issues. She is gaining weight just fine, but it is terribly painful for me, still. I could write a whole post about it, and I just might.
• She nurses only on one side at each feeding, which is different from Lewis. The LC had me feed that way when I met with her, so I've stuck with it. She was eating every 2-3 hours at first, but now she's usually closer to the 3 hour mark. If she is really hungry, she will let me know it by turning beet red and crying hysterically, so we try not to get to that point. It has only happened a handful of times, but it is scary.
• She is a pretty sleepy baby. She has a few times during the day when she's more awake/alert, but she sleeps most of the day. Nights have been pretty good, considering, too. She goes down between 9:30 and 10pm and has been waking up around 3am and 6:30 or 7am (on a typical night). She has had a couple of nights with another awakening in there and a couple of nights with a nice 6 or 7 hour stretch, too. I try to go to bed by 10 or 10:30pm because I'm still afraid of how the night will go.
• She's usually pretty fussy in the evenings, from the time Kevin gets home, usually, until bedtime (so like 6:30 or 7 until 9:30ish). She cluster feeds during that time, too, usually, because that's the only thing that will appease her.
• She gets mad, usually, after I buckle her in her car seat, so we have to swing her around a little bit which quiets her right down. She's good with riding in the car, as long as we are moving. If she is awake, she doesn't like to sit still, at times (like in the drive-thru lane).
• She is strong! We probably haven't done tummy time as much yet as we did with Lewis, but she will lift and hold up her head well when we hold her on our chests. She also kicks a lot and tries to put weight on her legs.
• We went to my old Mom group once and are going again this coming week. One of my friends I met there when Lewis was a baby now has another one, and she has been going regularly and invited me back. It was a little strange being there as a second-timer, but good to be with other moms and babies. I'm going back this week because it is my friend's last week before returning to work, and I'm looking forward to it.
• She smiles a lot as she nurses, sleeps, and/or has awake time, and it is beautiful. I look forward to when she knowingly and regularly does it.
• She loves bath time, especially having warm water poured on her head.
• We thought she had a growth spurt last week, but I think she started one yesterday into today (she is suddenly eating every two hours). She is wearing 3 month clothes now, but it seems even some of those are suddenly a bit snug. Our growing girl!

Overall, she is a very sweet baby. She doesn't ask for much so far, just to be fed. :) Lewis is a very good big brother--he sometimes needs to be reminded to not be too loud around her when she is napping, but he is very sweet and loving towards her. He says, 'I love you, girls' or 'I love you, Lenore' and gives her hugs and kisses.

One last note...
I would not have made it through the past few weeks without Kevin. He is the best husband and dad. He has helped me get Lewis ready for school, fed bottles while I pumped, listened and been supportive as I cried (again and again) about breastfeeding and other things through the hormonal tidal surge, let me nap/sleep in at times, taken Lewis for some one-on-one time, etc. I go could on, but I just want to make sure to acknowledge how great he has been and how much he is appreciated.

And some close-ups of Lenore, in parting:

 

Naming Baby

Coming up with a name was so much more difficult for us this time, for whatever reason! We finally finalized our decisions over dinner at 38 weeks (and I made shirts to make them official):

The shirt was a bit snug on my big girl. :)

 #size0to3months #thinkagain 

Enough pictures, already! Feed me, woman!

The final decision was: Crosby Pete for a boy or Lenore Elaine for a girl.

Lenore Elaine
I've liked Lenore since we were pregnant with Lewis. I've seen it as Lenore, Leonore, Lenora, Elenore, Eleanora, etc. but I just like plain ol' Lenore.

• Meaning is 'Like a Lion' or 'Light, Torch, Bright.'
• I didn't initially realize it, but it's a form of Leona, which was my great-grandmother Webb's name.
• I don't know about a nickname, yet. I've heard Nori, but I don't think I can nickname my child the same as Kim Kardashian. :) I'd liked Leni years ago, but I've since gone away from that (and Kevin is very anti-Leni, so that was part of our agreement). :) I think we'll just stick with Lenore for now.
• We like how that it starts with an L, to go along with Lewis: Lewis and Lenore.

Elaine was Kevin's suggestion--he really likes Julia Louis Dreyfus, especially as Elaine Benes on Seinfeld. It was a first name contender for a while, but we decided to use it as a middle instead. And, an added reason, if you take the letters of my sister's name (Emily Diane) and put them in a letter blender, it kind of makes the name, Elaine. :)

Crosby Pete
Kevin is the one who suggested Crosby, and we both liked it for a number of reasons, even more so as time went on and we thought more about it.

• Meaning is 'Dweller by the town crossing.'
• Crosby Braverman (Dax Shepherd) from Parenthood, one of our favorite shows.
• Bing Crosby is in White Christmas, which is one of my (and my mom's and maybe my sister's?) favorite movies. I watch it every year as I put up the Christmas tree. My sister and I once did the Haynes' sisters' Sisters routine in a high school choir performance (because we are awesome). We go way back. :)
• Songs of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young have been with me, growing up, and with us, throughout our relationship. 
• Our House and Teach Your Children remind me of my childhood, hearing my parents sing around the house.
• Suite: Judy Blue Eyes is just a great song. 
• Kevin really likes Southern Cross.
• One of the absolute most fun days of my life was back in the summer of 2003 at Taste of Bloomington with Kevin and my sister and a friend, eating good food, drinking good beer, and dancing the conga line to Love the One You're With (covered by the band Bahama Llama). [Kevin would like to note that it's technically just a Stephen Stills song, not CSN/Y, but we still associate it with CSN/Y.]
• David Crosby has 'most awesome' hair, and given the crazy waves/curls between Kevin and I, we figure this child is bound to have some awesome hair, too.
• We like that it's two syllables, like Lewis, and we like the shortened version, Cros: Lew and Cros.

We went with Pete because, why not? We thought of using many other names and really went through the ringer with them, but we ultimately decided that Lewis Pete and Crosby Pete sounded right to us. Waycross (the source of the Jim Peters' story and Peter's namesake) is what brought us together, so we decided to just go with it.


So those are/were our names! I really, truly thought it was going to be a boy, based on how the pregnancy felt compared to Lewis' (very similar), but I had started to feel a greater connection to the name, Lenore, towards the end (and I told a few people that in the days leading up to the baby's arrival).

School Pictures (and We're Still Here!)

We are starting to get into the swing of things with Lewis and Lenore--of course, I have a bunch of pictures to post, but not quite the time to do so right now. Things are going well--I'm so thankful for family and friends who have visited and sent gifts and brought over food and checked in to see how we are doing. 

Today is the first day that I've felt *almost* on my own, as far as getting Lewis ready for and driven to school. (I say almost because I couldn't do it without the help of Kevin.) Each day, we're figuring out better ways of doing things, and I think we're going to be okay. ;)

The day before Lenore was born, I went into school to pick up Lewis' school pictures:

I thought they turned out really well again this year. Here are his pictures from last year, and you can really see how much older he looks now! Especially when I see him next to his sister--he is just gigantic! His arms and legs are so big and strong, yet it seems not that long ago that he was a little baby like Lenore. (sigh)

Lewis the Truest, Vol. XVII

During breakfast one day:

Lewis: Mmm, this is alligator soup.
Mama: This is what?
Lewis: Alligator soup.
Mama: Oh! I thought it was toast.
Lewis: It's alligator soup. The little bits of alligator are DELICIOUS.

After I stopped laughing, I asked him where he learned all of this information about alligator soup, and he told me he learned it from Ms. Lauren, his art teacher/school director. :)

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I told Lewis to go potty after breakfast/before getting ready for school. I heard him go into our bedroom to talk to Hattie, as he often does. In parting, these were his words to her:

Lewis: Goodbye, Baby. (He calls her Baby Girl.) I'm going to poootty and poop before schooool!

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Kevin and Lewis went out to dinner a few weeks ago while I went to a wine/canvas thing with Kate, and Kevin sent me a text about Lewis's review of the restaurant:

Lewis: I like Moe's. It is not yucky.

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Lewis was admiring Lenore the other day after a feeding. I asked him if he wanted to say anything to her:

Lewis: Choo choo train. Tractor. Airplanes. Orange. Basketball. Leaves. Dada. Mama. Peter. Hattie. Baby. Lewis Pete. Dada. That's our FAMILY.

I was writing the words down as fast as they came out, and I thought I might have missed a couple. I asked him what came after tractor, and he said, 'airplanes, orange, basketball, etc.' and kept rattling off the list again, in the same order. It was too, too funny.