Sleep Makes Me Angry

"All babies are born good babies. It's the parents who make them who they are (bad/good)." - Old man (and father of 6) on flight from Houston to Boise

"Babies need 10-11 hours of sleep a night, plus 3-4 hours during the day over 2-3 naps." - Graco Sleep Machine pamphlet, other books

"My baby slept through the night since ____ months old." - Everyone. Good for you.

A rare glimpse of the Beast, sleeping. And drooling (this was last week when he was sick and couldn't breathe through his nose).

It makes me angry to think about, to talk about, to listen to someone else talk about. I know each baby is different. I know everyone has their own style of parenting and philosophies on sleep.

Lewis used to be a good sleeper. What has happened to him? I happened to him. I have created a Bad Baby Sleeping Monster.

I did not mean to--I meant to create/foster a healthy sleeper who could self-soothe and eventually sleep through the night when he was developmentally ready.

Now, we are beyond that.

Between 4 and 6 months, your baby can go without the overnight feedings. A few months ago, I decided that I would cut back on the duration of his nighttime feeds by just offering one side, thinking that eventually he would stop waking up and 'needing' the feed if I offered him less. Well, now here we are at 7+ months, and he is still waking up. And the only thing (at least the quick, easy thing in the middle of the night) that will get him back to sleep is the boob. I'm tired of it.

In addition, his bedtime routine has started to suck. It used to be that we could:

• change him
• read to him
• feed him
• turn out the light, and
• he would go to sleep (by 8pm).

Not anymore. These past few days/week, we have had to go back in, rock him, give him the pacifier, etc. It's been more like 8:15-8:25pm before he goes down. Or, he'll go down by 8 and then wake up again an hour or so later.

Before our Boise trip, he had gone through a stretch waking 2x a night. Then, right before our trip, he got it down to 1x, which I was okay with. While in Boise, he went between 1x and 2x (and maybe 3x) times. When we got home, he went back to 2x a night.

Then he got a cold.

Then he started teething.

Then we did our first bedtime away and he stayed up with the grandparents until 9:30pm.

Then his naps have started sucking (which I know is tied with the quality and quantity of his nighttime sleep).

We are over it.

Currently when he wakes, I go in, feed him on one side, and he goes right back down. Or, I should say USED to right back down. A few times now, he has woken up at 6am and has refused to go back down. Or, worse, laughs at us in between fusses.

If we go WAY back, there was a time when we could put him down at 7:30/8pm and he would not wake up until 7:30am!!! There was! I swear. He has it in him. That is what is so frustrating. I obviously have been fostering bad, bad sleep habits and, like I said, have created a monster.

And daytime sleep--for the love! He used to be such a good napper. I know that he needs at least 45 minutes for the nap to 'count' and for it to be restorative for him--I am lucky if I get one 1-hour nap and one 30-minute or maybe 45-minute nap. He needs his sleep, and I need some breaks during the day. For.the.love.

So, this weekend, we will begin sleep training. It is time. Before it's too late to fix his worsening bad habits. We are going with The SleepEasy Solution by Waldburger and Spivak, which was highly recommended to us by friends. We will address nighttime sleep and nap sleep at the same time. I'll let you know how it goes!